Once upon a time, not too long ago and not too far away, there was a gentleman named Nigel. He had an unremarkable name, but he had a pretty remarkable job. For he had succesfully managed to give birth to a particularly peculiar type of horse. When I say gave birth, I dont mean literally gave birth. That would be silly. And impossible. Men dont give birth to anything, especially horses. What I mean is that he was the first to succesfully breed tiny minature horses. The horses he bred were only a foot high. He achieved this by breeding a horse with a pokeman. Not Pikachu, another one. Pikachu likes cupcakes, not horses and has really let himself go. Anyways, I digress.
His horses were extremely popular. They made great pets. And they were great with kids. Everyone wanted to own one. Nigel set up in business, selling his beloved horses to the people who wanted them. For a while, things were good. His horses were selling well.
This went on for a few years and life was great. But after a while, Nigel noticed that a few of his horses were going missing. This troubled Nigel, because not only was it his livelyhood, but he lovingly bred each and every horse and was sad that they were taken from him. Slowly, as access to transport became easier, more and more horses went missing untill it got so bad that business was failing and Nigel was struggling.
Nigel was very sad. He didn’t know what to do. Horses were his life. It looked like it could be the end for Nigel. He was depressed and was drinking a lot with the Pokeman, and the pokeman REALLY know how to drink. One night, the pokeman took things to the next level and offered him some special sauce called pokajuice. Now, pokajuice is pretty wonderful in small quantities. But Nigel was very depressed, and also didnt realise quite the potency of this new poisen. Downing the bottle in one, the pokeman gasped, then giggled, then as is their nature, had a manga scrap. By the time the skirmish was over, so was Nigel. Over the hills and away with the fairies. In his own headpsace Nigel wondered along, sometimes scared, sometimes elated, sometimes green. But always Nigel. Then, at one particularly wierd green point, something clicked in Nigels head. I mean, all this was in his head, so I guess something clicked in his head, in his head. But yes. He knew it now. In huge orange letters, in his head (only in his head this time, not in his head, in his head) was written the words ‘If You Cant Beat Them, Join Them’. The orange stood out poingently from the particularly green moment and hit home hard. Nigel knew what he had to do.
Sobering up, Nigel went home with a renewed vigour in his steps. He sat up all night working on his new website and painting a large new sign. From now on, Nigel would give his horses away for free. This way, no-one would be stealing them. How can you steal something thats free? It was the only thing to do.
Nigel was happy again now, no longer depressed. He set about making new horses. Which he gave away for free. Pretty soon everyone had a pet horse. And everyone was very happy and loved Nigel.
But sadly, Nigel wasn’t making any money anymore. And after a while, he starved to death.
We here at HorsePlay Records have decided to follow Nigel’s business model. Bored and saddened by the theft of music, we have decided to give ours away free from now on. How good is that eh? Free music.
If you like the music, tell your friends, tell your friends friends. Spread the word and share the music around the world.